Ambiguity.....

My life has been full of ambiguity lately.  Law School will do that to you.  Not really knowing how you will do, not knowing how you compare to others, it's full of ambiguity.  But this isn't the ambiguity that has driven me to step away from my studying for finals to come and journal/blog.

That ambiguity is spiritual ambiguity.  The confluence of what I read this morning in my scriptures with the Law Journal article I read by Bruce Hafen (coincidentally titled "Ambiguity") has driven me to do a little self exploration through the written word.

I read Ether 8 today and the ONE verse that stood out was:

 19 For the Lord worketh not in secret combinations, neither doth he will that man should shed blood, but in all things hath forbidden it, from the beginning of man.

This stood out a couple of times.  I chose to ignore it because it kept making me think that Nephi was mistaken in what he thought was instruction from Heavenly Father to kill Laban.  It occured to me that it might be the example in the Book of Mormon of a righteous man who was fooled by Satan.

Today as I was reading a law jounal article titled "Ambiguity", the following statement was made by Elder Hafen:

"But sooner or later, many Church members do run into at least some forms of ambiguity. Our basic doctrines are clear, potent, and unambiguous. But we can encounter some uncertainty even in studying the scriptures. Consider, for example, when Nephi took Laban’s life in order to obtain the brass plates. That exceptional case is not easy to interpret we realize that some things about ourselves or others are not what we expected.until the reader realizes that God Himself, who gave the original commandment not to kill, was also the source of Nephi’s instructions."

These are the type of things that might break a person's testimony.  How can the book of Mormon in say in one chapter that Nephi was instructed to kill, and in another chapter say that "in all things hath forbidden it"?  These are the opportunities though, to STRENGTHEN my testimony because I will search, ponder, and pray on this and I will receive my answer from the Lord.

I am grateful for these testimony strengthening opportunities, and I say this in the name of Jesus Christ.

Amen.

Invocation of Blessings From a Prophet to the People of the World

In this year's General Conference Thomas S. Monson President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and sustained Prophet, Seer, and Revelator, pointedly invoked the blessings of heaven upon the attendees.

By 'pointedly', I mean he literally pointed to various people in the audience and then all around to indicate it was intended for everyone.  This is something the audience obviously noticed.  This morning a friend mentioned, the press picked up on the invocation too. (He was reading an article that referenced it.)  He and I discussed the frequency of these invocations because I had remembered very vividly receiving an invocation from President Hinckley and somewhat peripherally feeling like I remembered an invocation from President Eyring at one point.  I had because of this had somewhat of an assumption that an invocation came with every conference.  His contention was that they were rare.  This of course caused us both to research the facts.

Turns out my assumption was incorrect, however there have been many invocation of blessings throughout the history of not only General Conference, but all talks. I thought it would be beneficial to summarize in one location all of the invocations given to the Saints and to the World at large for not only my own personal study, but also for anyone else who may be interested in this topic.


General Conference
Sunday April 1 2012
Closing Remarks - Thomas S. Monson

(This will be posted at a later date as the transcripts are not yet posted.)



General Conference
October 2011
Council to the Youth - Boyd K. Packer

If you will follow these principles, you will be watched over and protected and you yourself will know by the promptings of the Holy Ghost which way to go, for “by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.”¹⁶ I promise you that it will be so and invoke a blessing upon you, our precious youth, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.


General Conference
October 2010
Cleansing the Inner Vessel - Boyd K. Packer

Strangely enough, it may be that the simplest and most powerful prevention and cure for pornography, or any unclean act, is to ignore and avoid it. Delete from the mind any unworthy thought that tries to take root. Once you have decided to remain clean, you are asserting your God-given agency. And then, as President Smith counseled, “Don’t look back.”

I promise that ahead of you is peace and happiness for you and your family. The ultimate end of all activity in the Church is that a man and his wife and their children can be happy at home. And I invoke the blessings of the Lord upon you who are struggling against this terrible plague, to find the healing that is available to us in the priesthood of the Lord. I bear witness of that power in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

General Conference 
April 2010
A Word At Closing - Thomas S. Monson

As we leave this conference, I invoke the blessings of heaven upon each of you. As you return to your homes around the world, I pray our Heavenly Father will bless you and your families. May the messages and spirit of this conference find expression in all that you do—in your homes, in your work, in your meetings, and in all your comings and goings.

I love you. I pray for you. May God bless you. May His promised peace be with you now and always, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

General Conference

October 2009

Closing Remarks - Thomas S. Monson

 

Now, as we leave this conference, I invoke the blessings of heaven upon each of you. May all of you return safely to your homes. As you ponder the things you have heard during this conference, may you say, with the people of King Benjamin who all cried with one voice, “We believe all the words which thou hast spoken unto us; and also, we know of their surety and truth, because of the Spirit of the Lord Omnipotent, which has wrought a mighty change in us … that we have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually.” ² May every man and woman, boy and girl leave this conference a better person than he or she was when it began two days ago.

I love you, my brothers and sisters. I pray for you. I would ask once again that you would remember me and all the General Authorities in your prayers. We are one with you in moving forward this marvelous work. I testify to you that we are all in this together and that every man, woman, and child has a part to play. May God give us the strength and the ability and the determination to play our part well.

I bear my testimony to you that this work is true, that our Savior lives, and that He guides and directs His Church here upon the earth. I leave with you my witness and my testimony that God our Eternal Father lives and loves us. He is indeed our Father, and He is personal and real.

May God bless you. May His promised peace be with you now and always.  I bid you farewell until we meet again in six months’ time, and do so in the name of Jesus Christ, our Savior and Redeemer and our Advocate with the Father, amen.

General Conference

October 2009

Prayer and Promptings - Boyd K. Packer

May the Lord bless us and sustain President Monson and his family in every way that will be needful to carry on the great work that is upon his shoulders. I bear that witness and invoke that blessing as a servant of the Lord and in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

General Conference

April 2008

Looking Back and Moving Forward - Thomas S. Monson

I invoke His blessings upon you, my beloved brothers and sisters, in your homes, in your work, in your service to one another and to the Lord Himself. Together we shall move forward doing His work.

I pledge my life, my strength—all that I have to offer—in serving Him and in directing the affairs of His Church in accordance with His will and by His inspiration, and I do so in His holy name—even the Lord Jesus Christ—amen.

Fire and Ice

So my entire life I've been told that I run hot and cold.  The dichotomy of my personality is completely valid.  My favorite roses are actually Fire and Ice. 

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favour fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice

I kind of love Robert Frost. :)

Angels on Earth

So I've been at home all day today working on my essay to apply to grad school. The intraspection has not been fun. It's actually been really really really HORRIBLE. I've been in tears oh so many times today.

My phone rang a little while ago and it was someone from church. He said that I've been on his mind the last couple of days and he wanted to check on me to make sure I'm ok.

He is truly an angel on earth. I know that God is thinking about me and let me know through a call from someone at church. I'm grateful for that.

There are oh so many angels in our lives if we are but to recognize it.

Sexy or Stunning? Which would you rather be?

Once upon a time it was a compliment when someone called me sexy.  I would have been flattered to be called 'seductive'.  But things have changed.  I have come to understand I have greater value.

I don't want to be called 'sexy'.  Sexy means that I am a piece of meat, that I am an object.  That all I am good for is my body and what I can do with it.  It is ugly and it is dirty.

Instead, I want to be 'stunning'.  I want to be beautiful.  I want to be head turning.  Being stunning means that both my inner beauty and my outer beauty in combination is what is attractive.  It means that my inner light is shining and catching their attention.

Dear men of the world.  We don't want to be sexy, we want to be stunning.  If we are only sexy to you, then leave us alone and move on.

Keeping the Sabbath

So keeping the Sabbath holy is something that I've gotten more and more strict about in my life.  And most days that works for me because I've got plenty of things that I "can do".  Like visiting with friends, providing service, doing family history, indexing records for FamilySearch.org, cook, clean, etc....  I even allow myself anything that is on BYU TV.  But today I'm struggling.  I want to turn on the TV and plug in a movie.  Specifically "Enchanted". (I love that movie and I haven't watched it in a while.)

Because I really like the benefits of keeping the Sabbath holy I am doing anything and EVERYTHING that I can to distract myself from breaking it.  Which includes journaling/blogging.  Thus resulting in this entry.  I am also making oven potatoes and probably will make some salmon steaks for dinner.  I should probably practice my Farsi and Piano but you know I'm going to procrastinate that because those things are actually PRODUCTIVE. :)

If You Could Have Any Job In the World What Would You Do?

This was a question posed to me by my co-worker today as we face an organizational restructuring in our department.

There was a long pause as I bit my lip because I didn't want to answer the question.  She apparently already knew my answer.  "You would have a family?"

She's right.  The one thing I want to be is the one thing I have absolutely no control over.  (Which is kind of a joke given how much of a control freak I am.)  I have no control over when I meet someone.  I have no control over whether I get pregnant.  In fact, from what my OBGYN tells me, it will be hard for me to get pregnant. Or at least stay pregnant.

The question is why I hestitate in telling people that my "dream job" is to be a mother.  Being a mother is honorable, being a mother is virtuous.  But in this day in age, it isn't 'impressive'.  Given that being a mother was once revered, I'm not sure why that is or how it happened...

I hope to though... one day... be a mother....

"It's Thursday; I don't lie on Thursdays."

I was watching "Covert Affairs" tonight and the Mousad agent says to Annie "It's Thursday; I don't lie on Thursdays.".  It's so funny how the shows I watch mimic my life.  It made me smile...

So when we were first flirting around my now ex-boyfriend and I made a deal.  Full disclosure to questions on Thursdays.  I used to really love Thursdays.

Too bad he was a liar on every other day.

What Defines You?

Back in 2009 someone I eventually grew to care about asked me to consider what defines me.

I had, a few months earlier given him a book that had impacted me strongly Herman Hesse's "Narcisus and Goldmund" for his birthday.  I had done this out of fear..... I had wanted to give him The Book of Mormon because that book more than any other has changed my life.

The funny thing is that both books focus on "the meaning of life".  Only one helped me TRULY find that.

So when I came to grips with the fact that I gave him the wrong book, I tried to fix it.  I'm pretty sure he was rebuking Satan under his breath when I explained myself and handed him the Book of Mormon.

The thing is..... The BOM (Book of Mormon) DOES help define me.  It changed my life.  It changed my heart.

The problem I realized there has to be something more that defines me.... I just don't know what it is....
 I'm excited about missionary work... I thrive in genealogy.....My friends call me to pray for certain things for them because Heavenly Father ALWAYS answers my prayers.... But what else is there to me?

I will be exploring this in the days, weeks, and months to come....