Keeping the Sabbath

So keeping the Sabbath holy is something that I've gotten more and more strict about in my life.  And most days that works for me because I've got plenty of things that I "can do".  Like visiting with friends, providing service, doing family history, indexing records for FamilySearch.org, cook, clean, etc....  I even allow myself anything that is on BYU TV.  But today I'm struggling.  I want to turn on the TV and plug in a movie.  Specifically "Enchanted". (I love that movie and I haven't watched it in a while.)

Because I really like the benefits of keeping the Sabbath holy I am doing anything and EVERYTHING that I can to distract myself from breaking it.  Which includes journaling/blogging.  Thus resulting in this entry.  I am also making oven potatoes and probably will make some salmon steaks for dinner.  I should probably practice my Farsi and Piano but you know I'm going to procrastinate that because those things are actually PRODUCTIVE. :)

If You Could Have Any Job In the World What Would You Do?

This was a question posed to me by my co-worker today as we face an organizational restructuring in our department.

There was a long pause as I bit my lip because I didn't want to answer the question.  She apparently already knew my answer.  "You would have a family?"

She's right.  The one thing I want to be is the one thing I have absolutely no control over.  (Which is kind of a joke given how much of a control freak I am.)  I have no control over when I meet someone.  I have no control over whether I get pregnant.  In fact, from what my OBGYN tells me, it will be hard for me to get pregnant. Or at least stay pregnant.

The question is why I hestitate in telling people that my "dream job" is to be a mother.  Being a mother is honorable, being a mother is virtuous.  But in this day in age, it isn't 'impressive'.  Given that being a mother was once revered, I'm not sure why that is or how it happened...

I hope to though... one day... be a mother....

"It's Thursday; I don't lie on Thursdays."

I was watching "Covert Affairs" tonight and the Mousad agent says to Annie "It's Thursday; I don't lie on Thursdays.".  It's so funny how the shows I watch mimic my life.  It made me smile...

So when we were first flirting around my now ex-boyfriend and I made a deal.  Full disclosure to questions on Thursdays.  I used to really love Thursdays.

Too bad he was a liar on every other day.

What Defines You?

Back in 2009 someone I eventually grew to care about asked me to consider what defines me.

I had, a few months earlier given him a book that had impacted me strongly Herman Hesse's "Narcisus and Goldmund" for his birthday.  I had done this out of fear..... I had wanted to give him The Book of Mormon because that book more than any other has changed my life.

The funny thing is that both books focus on "the meaning of life".  Only one helped me TRULY find that.

So when I came to grips with the fact that I gave him the wrong book, I tried to fix it.  I'm pretty sure he was rebuking Satan under his breath when I explained myself and handed him the Book of Mormon.

The thing is..... The BOM (Book of Mormon) DOES help define me.  It changed my life.  It changed my heart.

The problem I realized there has to be something more that defines me.... I just don't know what it is....
 I'm excited about missionary work... I thrive in genealogy.....My friends call me to pray for certain things for them because Heavenly Father ALWAYS answers my prayers.... But what else is there to me?

I will be exploring this in the days, weeks, and months to come....

Wicked Nature vs. Divine Nature

It may surprise you to hear that I studied today with some Jehovah's Witnesses today.  Their lesson revolved around their belief that Satan is the ruler of this world. In explaining this they pointed out a couple of verses where Satan is referred to as 'god'.   This conflicts greatly with Latter Day Saint Doctrine and my own personal beliefs.

As I was thinking about the differences between Latter Day Saint  doctrine and other 'Christian' doctrine one fundamental difference is that the LDS faith focuses on our DIVINE nature where other faiths I have encountered (Pentecostal, Baptist, Catholic, Jehovah's Witness) focus on our WICKED Nature.

I guess for me, that is how I know I am in the right Church and learning the right doctrine.  The focus of the LDS doctrine is our Spiritual and Divine Nature.  The fact that we are all Spirit Children of our Heavenly Father.  It focuses on how we should strive to be more like Him.  It focuses on strengthening our Spiritual Nature.

Being able to develop my Spiritual Nature and strengthening that DIVINE nature is how I want to approach my journey towards God.

I love that I understand that God the Father and Jesus Christ are the "rulers" of this world, and that God has insured that there is 'enmity' between Satan and me.  I am grateful to know that God has provided me power over Satan's influences through my ability to listen to the Holy Ghost and through being able to rebuke Satan through the name of Jesus Christ.

I'm thankful that I know that Satan is NOT the 'ruler' of this world because it provides me faith and hope knowing that I can leverage the tools that God has provided me (i.e. my divine nature, the Holy Ghost, the name of Jesus Christ) if ever need be.

Crazy Dreams - Alan and Anne

I dreamt that I went to see Alan and Anne.  They lived in a really large city (maybe New York, maybe San Fransisco)  They had five kids, and one of their girls sat next to me on the couch and said Lynn, Lynn, and Lynn.... because her name was Lynn and so was her sisters. HA HA HA!  Then I put my arm around the the little girl and Alan and were stroking their hair.  Anne notice I had rested my hand on Alan's hair and came over and got inbetween.  I apologized and said I was really tired and not thinking and then snuggled up on the other side to the arm of the couch and fell asleep.

Minority Report...

I can't think of someone more in the minority than a divorced Persian (Iranian) Mormon.